Attention Universe A

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is you Universes' landlord speaking. In one year this Universe is scheduled for demolition. The forms have been on display in the form of the Mayan calendar for over 500 years, so there's no reason to complain. Until the final day, you must vacate the premises. Also remember to:

• Lock up the Bermuda Triangle
• Notify your neighbors in Universe 1 that you will be away indefinitely
• Turn off all stars and proto-stars
• Return all matter to its pre-atomic state
• Place any dark matter into the black holes provided
• Be sure all protons and electrons fully entropy
• Return any dimensions you do not have any use for

Any remaining Time can be claimed back as Space, if you correctly fill in your Time Return Forms. If you have not been issued a Time Return Form, then this is an illusion caused by your limited dimensionality. Relax, and an authorized Time Collection Agent will be along to assist you.

I hope you enjoyed your stay in reality - God, Universe A Landlord.

The Knight and the Dragon

A knight rides up a hill towards a dragon's lair.

Knight: Vile dragon, prepare to meet thy death, for now I shall kill thee!
Dragon: Really? You're going to kill me?
Knight: Yes, I'm going to ride up that hill and stab you in the belly.
Dragon: Alright, just watch out for my garden.
Knight: What?
Dragon: My garden. Especially the tulips. I love tulips.
Knight: You garden?
Dragon: What, you've never had a hobby? Or do you always ride up mountains and threaten to kill people.
Knight: Only on weekends. Most of the time I prefer reading, or surfing the web.
Dragon: You are a very lazy knight, you know that?
Knight: You insult me! Prepare to meet THY DOOM!
Knight charges, Dragon roars.

The End

Ecosystem, Week 3

Here's a quick summary: it rained in Africa, and the lions are slowly recovering.
The trees have grown back in Siberia, but the caribou have left Alaska, so the wolves will have to find other food sources.
The Ankylosaurs were hit by a sickness, but this isn't doing any damage to the ecosystem.
It rained again in the field.

Finally, a new species appeared in the tide pool: kelp, which brings with it another kind of snail called an abalone.

I Have a Fortress!

This is Weathertop. My dad helped me make it.

This is how it looked when we assembled and painted it.

This is it with all the trimmings, and below is Weathertop in action.

U jelly?

The Facts are Enlightening

I've been kind of worried about my Facebook popularity, which is stupid. It just seems like certain people are only commenting on certain posts. So I decided to rant about it. Of course, my thought was that everyone was either not getting it or related to me. Or both. But to my surprise the facts checked out differently. Feast your eyes:

Out of 20 posts since May 2, I wrote:

6 about my personal life,
                 4 of which were from friends of family and 14 of which were from friends.
5 about current events,
                 5 of which were family, 7 of which were friends, and 2 of which didn't get it.
5 about wit/humor,
                 7 of which didn't get it and 3 were everyone else.
3 other,
                 3 of which were family, 3 of which were friends, and 2 of which didn't get it.
1 a movie quote,
                 All 8 of which were friends.
and 3 about this blog,
                 Which received no comments. At all.

So out of 58 comments, only 20% were family, and 18% were people who didn't get it.
Of course, 70 % of people didn't get my jokes. But really, there was also the fact that the majority of comments on my daily life was on about one post. Then again, when divided up it's about 2.3 comments per post.

So really I shouldn't be a whiner. There are plenty of people who still comment that aren't either related or lacking a sense of humor.

But then there's all the posts I deleted, that no one commented on...

Oops! My Bad!

Turns out we were actually in week 3 of the project. It's actually week 2 of summer (isn't it?).

Also, I forgot the field. So this week it rained. So we get more flowers!

I crave your indulgence for this mistake.

Week 2 of the Ecosystem Project

It is week 2 isn't it?

Anyways, our invertebrates way back in the tide pool are being attacked by a few newcomers: the penpoint gunnel.

In Africa, the lion prides have been hit by a disease. It will take some time for them to recover.

In the Arctic, a dead whale has washed up in Baffin Bay, so our wolverines will be feasting for months.
Meanwhile, some trees are growing back in Siberia.

And finally, our last ecosystem: the dinosaurs!

A lot of these are actually from different time periods. So no complaining!

They are:

• Tyrannosaurus
• Stegosaurus
• Parasaurolphus
• Ornithomimus
• Quetzalcoatlus
• Utahraptor
• Sauroposeidon
• Alamosaurus
• Acrocanthosaurus
• Deinonychus
• Ankylosaurus
• Triceratops

Above the Arctic Circle

This is probably my biggest picture ever. This covers the whole arctic, from plankton to whales to wolves to lemmings. By the way, there are five mini-ecosystems, and clockwise they are the North Pole, Svalbard, Baffin Bay, Alaska, and Siberia.

So. What's the number today?

Surprise! It's a 4. That stands for human interference in the Arctic. So down come all the trees in Siberia.

This is bad, because the lemmings, hares, and foxes hide under the trees, and the owls rest in them.

The foxes are getting more numerous, as there are less hiding places for their prey and less competition from the owls.

The Circle of Life

Today's ecosystem is the African Savannah.

red dot=lion
black dot=zebra
pink dot=flamingo
cream dot=wildebeest
brown dot=spring hare
light green dot in water=crocodile
dark green dot=bush
light green dot on land=tree
light green smear=grass
orange dot=hyena
grey dot=vulture
yellow dot=giraffe
blue dot=elephant
white dot=baboon

And the unlucky number is...3! In the field, that was succession, but on the savannah, it's going to mean that a group of animals suddenly colonizes a new area. Not like migration, where the whole herd leaves. So here we have flamingos colonizing other watering holes.

This really has no effect on the ecosystem, as nothing really feeds on flamingos.

Out Standing, In a Field

Recently I started work on the field. It's pretty simple, voles feed on bugs, which feed on flowers, and the hawks eat the voles.

Of course, I rolled a 3, so that means bushes start growing, displacing the flowers. This is very common, and in ecology it is called succession.

We can also see how the tide pool is doing. The sea anemones are back, but the algea and mussels have moved in slightly.

Next I'm thinking Africa.

An Ecosystem for Everyone

So I recently came up with this idea. I do that a lot.

I am going to create a picture of an ecosystem. I already made one for the tide pools.

The top layer are barnacles, then mussels, then sea urchins, and the bottom is a mix of sponges and algea. The mussels and barnacles are fed on by sea stars, the urchins by sea spiders, the algea by limpets (a snail), and the sponges by nudibranchs (sea slugs).

I figure to make things interesting, every once in a while I would roll a die, then use a table to find out what happens to the ecosystem. Today I rolled a 5. That's disease, and the sea urchins seemed the unlucky ones.

To see what happens, tune in late this week!

Sean's Greatest Hits

So whenever our English class reads a book, I always make a poster like these ones, then I place people from my school, SCA, as the cast members. So, here's the first one I did, Twelve Angry Men.

The people are as follows:

#1 - Maddy Ebert

#2 - Bekah Herman

#3 - Alex Kaites
#4 - Katie Tritch

#5 - Anna Long

#6 - Jordan Myren

#7 - Steve Horton
#8 - Yours Truly, Sean Duff

#9 - Michael Sendra

#10 - Richard Barnes
#11 - Bryan Stephens

#12 - Breet Borenstein

Guard - Juho Jong, our resident Korean exchange student

The we have my masterpeice: Julius Caesar!

Julius Caesar - Zach Scott
Marcus Antonius - Sean Duff
Octavius Caesar - Alex Kaites
Lepidus - Richard Barnes
Portia - Martin Castoe
Calpurnia - Tori Zeigler
Brutus - Brandon McCarthy
Decius - Michael Sendra
Cassius - Jonah Butler
Casca - Christian Cook
Cinna - Addison Wead
Trebonius - Clay Crookham
Ligarius - Jerry Gallegos
Metellus Cimber - Karsten Sellers
Cicero - Jerry Sicalo
Publius - Maddy Ebert
Popilius Lena - Jordan Myren
Flavius - Bekah Herman
Marullus - Juho Jong
Artimedorous - Katie Tritch
Lucius - Brett Borenstein
Soothsayer - Maddy Winsbury
Cinna the Poet - Anna Long
Another Poet - Cole Jackson
Cobbler - Connor Nason
Carpenter - Greyson Guenther
Servant to Caesar - Montana Augustine
Servant to Octavius - Sam Boatman
Servant to Antony - Matt Tomphson
First Plebian - Tayler Owens
Second Plebian - Jayde Ingram
Third Plebian - Michaela Barnes
Fourth Plebian - Cody Baird
Strato - Kendyll Hellestrae
Young Cato - Lindsey Bouma
Messenger - Ashley Adam
Volumnius - Chris Hammes
Claudius - Brittney McCoermick
Varro - Jamie Warren
Messala - Delci Darian
Clitus - Savannah Gangze
Dardanius - Noah
Publius Cimber - Austin Fendler
Antony's Army
Luke Siwek
Cody Oestertag
KJ Gould
Maddi Mason
Christian Tyler
Sam Brannon
Breiden
Luke O'Neill
Brutus' Army
Tuff Barnes
Christian Dale
Steven Keller
Colden Brown
Connor Brown
Lucilius - Matt Benefield
Titinius - Bryan Stephens
Pindarus - Toshah Isaac

Insert Obligatory Apology Here

So here's what's up since I last posted a month ago.

First of all, I saw Rango, and it is the most epic movie since maybe Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The most epic scene is this:

Speaking of Narnia, I saw Voyage of the Dawn Treader on DVD, as well as Harry Potter and the Two and a Half Hours of Walking Around in the Woods Deathly Hallows. Good movie, though as with all the series the deviations from the books are noticeable. But I digress. Having seen VotDT for a second time, I I take it back. The movie was really not good without the source's charm and origional storyline. So, I now give it a 25/50. Not that it matters now.

Hmmm, what else?

I have suddenly become obsessed with saior songs, like this one that you may recognize from Spongebob Squarepants.

I know, right? Anyway, I have something new for later this week. Stay tuned!

Or not.

The Final Final Epilogue for Twilight

Emmett and Jacob discuss the battle-that-almost-was.

JACOB: Man, the Volturi are complete idiots!
EMMETT: What do you mean?
JACOB: They totally fell for that "shape-shifter" b.s.
EMMETT: You mean that was fake?!? Aaargh! We could have had an epic battle! You idiot!
JACOB: But...but I thought we saved everyone...
EMMETT: No! The Volturi still rule the vampire world!You know what? Forget this, I'm going to go fight the real war! [Flies off on a stolen jetpack]

Meanwhile, in the Shadow Queen's lair...

MESSENGER: Oh great Shadow Queen! I have terrible news!
SMEYER: [Strokes her evil pet cuttlefish] What could possibly be wrong when all my precious main characters are safe?
MESSENGER: Well, it would seem that we have seen a serious decline in our fanbase (and thus the amount of money pouring in) in the past few years.
SMEYER: [Waters her evil pet cactus] Why? How could this have happened?
MESSENGER: It is the one they call...Dan Bergstein [Triumphant fanfare] He has disillusioned the masses to your schemes. And he has become a werewolf as well.
SMEYER: [Feeds her evil pet racoon] Ah, yes the one they call Lt. Lasermind. Well, I have a way to take care of troublemakers like him. Release the drones.
[In the caverns below her evil castles, an army awakes...thousands of brainwashed robots, eager to do their master's bidding...]
SMEYER: [Holds her evil pet locust] Nothing can save you now, Lt. Lasermind...

To be continued in: The Adventures of Emmett and Lt. Lasermind!

Blogging Twilight: A Summary

If you are unfamiliar with the awesome Blogging Twilight by the even more awesome Dan Bergstein( his wrists are adequate!), then you live in a hole and should be publicly humiliated. In his blog, Dan bravely tackles the phenomenon chapter by chapter and lays bare the horror underneath. With the recent completion of Blogging Breaking Dawn, I thought it best to summarize this greatness in no uncertain terms.

Twilight
Bella meets Edward
Bella and Edward love each other

Dan meets Emmett and Jacob
Dan thinks Alice is a good character

New Moon
Edward runs away...for some reason
Bella meets Jacob. Things are good
Edward returns. Things are bad.

Dan hates Bella because she is whiny
Dan loves Emmett and Jacob
Dat hates Alice because her power makes no sense

Eclipse
Edward is an abusive boyfriend
We all FINALLY get a vampire-werewolf battle

Dan hates Edward because he is abusive
Dan loves Seth Clearwater

Breaking Dawn
Edward and Bella get married
Edward and Bella have a baby, Renesmee
Jacob falls in love with Renesmee
???
profit!

Dan hates Jacob because he is a baby-dater
Dan hates Renesmee because she is impossibly perfect
Dan kind of forgets about Seth Clearwater

Tolkien Culture 101

So you want to be a Tolkien nerd? Do you think you have what it takes to take on the Balrog Wing Debate, the Eagles to Mount Doom Argument, or the Origin of Tom Bombadil Speculation? Maybe you just want to fit in with your more geeky friends.

Well listen up, because here's the rundown on all the places you gotta go to know Tolkien.

Websites

For a classic, I'd try Fyling Moose of Nargothrond and their Tolkien Sarcasm page. Also, check out Perrianath.com and Sauron Blog, both made by the hilarious Erik David Evan. Periannath is a must for news and Tolkien studies, particularly the series Tolkien 101, so that you too can be a nerd. Sauron Blog is a liner story, telling the story of Middle-earth from the bad guys' perspective. Right now it's around the War of the Elves and Sauron. Arwen Undomiel is a good site for language.

Videos

Every time I see this, I think of Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli in atechno band. Gimli on drums, Aragorn on guitar, and Legolas singing.

Not as popular as the Isengard one, but still the second-best LotR remix out there.

One Does Not Simply X Into Mordor

Inspired by thet one line in that one scene, fans quickly proved that you CAN walk into Mordor, as well as fly, teleport, snowboard, and catapult yourself. The best are the rhyming ones: One does not simply rock into Mordor is my personal favorite.

Also, see this.

So, now you can join the geekdom! Because, you know, geeks will one day rule the world. |:)

Super Bowl Commercials - The Big Finale!

This is it! The END!

This elicited a chuckle. 5/10 funnies.

Beer commercials number...4? 3? Rating: 5/10 funnies.

The secrets of the human mind, laid bare. Rating: 7/10 Funnies.

Animal Kharma, again. Sweet. Rating: 5/10 Heart-warmers.

Oh, that's clever. Rating: 5/10 Awesomes.

These are good. Rating: 5/10 chuckles.

Rating: 7/10 Funnies. But that clown got PWND!



Bye! That's it! We've ended witha bang, haven't we. Go home, now. And clean up all those pretzels!

Superbowl Commercials - Second and Third Quarter

And we're back! Remember, we're counting the beer commercials, rating all the funny and lame ones, and saving your Facebook news feed from clogging.

This was HILARIOUS! Rating: 10/10 Funnies.

Niiiice. Rating: 8/10 Funnies.

Lesson #2: Coca-Cola solves all your problems. Actually, this may have some weight. Rating: 5/10 Heart-warmers.

Awesome. I know it made me laugh. In fact, this may be the best commercial this year. Rating: 8/10 Funnies.

I love these Snickers commercials, but this has taken the cake. Rating: 7/10 Funnies.

I'm sure we've all run into these guys. Rating: 6/10 Funnies.

See? Everything is a cycle. Rating: 6/10 Funnies.

OMIGOD! We know exactly how you feel. And I think he is a girl. Rating: 8/10 Awesomes.

No. Rating: 1/10 Fails.

I'm gonna let the video speak or itself. That's epic. Rating: 5/10 Heart-warmers.

By the way, that Half Time show sucked. And was it sponsored by Tron or something?

All About Super Bowl Commercials

Super Bowl Commercials. Some were good. Some were bad. A few were funny. Most were about beer. So here thet are, the terrbile ones, the future viral video ones, the beer ones. Well, maybe not all of them. I'll leave out the movies. I'll also keep it PG. (This means YOU Kim Kardashian!)

First Quarter

They didn't do anything to the kitchen!. Rating: 5/10 Funnies

I love animal revenge. But didn't we see this last year with the shock-collar dog? Rating: 5/10 Funnies.



If I were to be arrested, I would want to go to Fancy Prison. Rating: 5/10 Awesomes.



One, disturbing. Two, is he snorting Doritos? Three, I will never eat Doritos without thinking of this commercial. Rating: 7/10 Funnies.



Senior citizens are funnier than animals or kids. Scientifically proven. Rating: 7/10 Funnies.



No can will hurt that much. Rating: 4/10 Fails (1 being the most fail).



Bud Light! The king of commercials. Rating: 7/10 Funnies. Beer commercail count: 1. Not an endorsement of Bud Light.

Hahaha! A volcano! What is it with that kid? Rating: 9/10 Funnies.

Lesson 1: Doritos solves all you problems. Rating: 7/10 Funnies.

I find it unlikely ANY car could be that good. Not even Bumblebee. Rating: 5/10 Fails.

What a jerk. Only semi-funny, but the fail overrules it. Rating: 2/10 Fails.

End of First Quarter. Go fill up your pretzel bowl and watch some football game until the next commercial.

Awesome Facts of the Week

Monday: Nose jobs appeared as early as 400 B.C. in India.

Tuesday: Houdini's real name was Erik Weisz

Wednesday: All polar bears are left-handed

Thursday: The ancient Greek philosopher Chryssiphus died from laughter (literally!) while watching a drunk donkey try to eat a bowl of fruit.

Friday: The Volkswagon Beetle was invented by the Nazis.